UK digital bank Starling has rolled out a new interactive tool designed to help couples improve their relationship with money.
The tool aims to support people in identifying and understanding their ‘money language’, offering advice on how to better communicate with other money languages.
A play on ‘love languages’, the specific way people prefer to give and receive affection in relationships, the digital bank’s newly coined term ‘money language’ refers instead to a preferred approach to money or spending in a relationship.
The move comes as the challenger bank publishes new research which finds that 74 per cent of UK couples are speaking different money languages, with different communication styles causing conflict for two-thirds of couples, often leading to the delay of important life milestones such as buying a home or having children.
According to its study of 2,000 UK couples, financial compatibility has become a top three priority for people when looking for a partner, alongside sexual compatibility and shared interests, and above shared political and religious beliefs.
“We have love languages, and now we have money languages, which we’ve created to give couples the vocabulary they need to talk about their finances”, said Becca Stroud, personal finance expert, Starling Bank.
The bank has identified seven main money languages as part of its research, including scarcity mindset, where people regularly save and struggle with spending (32 per cent of the UK); financial avoidance, where people hate talking about money (10 per cent); and protecting privacy, where people hide their habits and value independence and controls (nine per cent.)
Other money languages include money know how, people are open books and make money work for them (23 per cent); acts of finance, where people show love by taking responsibility (nine per cent); lifestyle enrichment, where people live in the moment and spend on ‘now’ experiences (seven per cent); and extravagant affirmation, where people give generously and connect money to love (two per cent.)
Further data from Starling’s report shows that money matters are a significant source of tension for couples, with 76 per cent arguing about money regardless of their approach to managing their finances.
This figure rises significantly when money languages diverge, with 97 per cent of partnerships between financial avoidance and acts of finance experiencing conflict over money, followed by 92 per cent of lifestyle enrichment and money know how pairings.
Conversely, couples that have the same money language demonstrate below average levels of conflict, including paired scarcity mindsets (63 per cent) and money know hows (64 per cent.)
Starling’s study indicates that couples can grow to speak each others’ money language over time, with couples who have been in relationships for ten years or more twice as likely not to argue (29 per cent) than those together for less than ten years (15 per cent.)
Speaking about his own money language in light of the research, Olympian Tom Daley said: “I love to spend; on other people, gifts for my family, my children, and on experiences. That makes my money language lifestyle enrichment, and I truly feel that if spending on something that is going to help you work better, improve your life, or make your loved ones happy, it’s worth it.”
Daley’s husband, screenwriter and director Dustin Lance Black said that he has a scarcity mindset, which means he can be seen as the “guardrail in the relationship”.
“I like to save, but also make sure our family is set up for the future, whatever happens, with funds, smart investments and a frugal approach,” added Black. “Learning more about our money languages has helped me understand our relationship even more. We may speak different languages, but we also balance each other out, making us really financially healthy and harmonious!”
